Kanye is a gay fish

I am not posting this to hate on Kanye because I love Kanye. I like his music, I like his bravado, but I don't like that weird ass looking girl that he has been running with. She reminds of the new millennium's Grace Jones. Nonetheless as much as I love him he does need to get a handle on his ego. It appears this last week's South Park as made him take a step back and look at his grand ego. Here is a recap of the episode. Pretty funny if I must say so.

{CLICK THE HEADLINE TO SEE THE VIDEO}

beating up hookers and butchering a foreign language

So Sham-WOW Vince, who is trying to take down the Church or Scientology with profits from his wonder sponge, has found a new market - the Spanish. In an effort to reach more people and rake in more sales Vince is pushing sales in the Latin market of his miracle soaker upper. The thing is that he sounds like a complete douche speaking Spanish. "Es muy terrible'! No es bueno senor Sham-WOW!" I guess he too felt that it was so bad that after filming it he went out, found a hooker, and smacked her ass around. My guys down at the precinct say that Vince apparently tried to soak up her blood with his Sham-WOW...didn't work too well.

The Boys are Back In Town

Well as most everyone who is anyone knows Phish reunited this weekend. FUCK I wish I was there!!!! However the weekend did not go off without a hitch. A few years ago and I might have been one of these numbers spending a night in the Hampton jail. Yes readers despite my good nature appearance the Buffet has been a couple of nights in county lock up due to having too much fun a Phish...or two. I have listened to the shows and though they didn't seem quite as experimental as I, and a lot of people, would have liked them to be they sound GREAT! It is really shitty for us fans to really expect them to play the style that they did over 10 years ago - this spaced out funk groove that so many people fell in love with - I know I did. None the less they are back for this year. Though I won't be able to see them on THEIR shows this summer I will be catching them at Bonarroo which I suspect will be a pretty impressive and special show.

This band was my life in my 20s. I traveled all around to see them and they introduced me to SO much and SO many. There were so many great times had at their shows. It was about the music but in a bigger sense it wasn't. Their music provided an escape to far away places in your mind and when it was over and you had to return to work you, well I was lost for a few days. Everybody has something in their young adult days they hold onto and they feel is theirs and well Phish, like a lot of people, was mine and will always be.

I am on the wagon...the bandwagon.

This album, Merriweahter post Pavilion, is being called on of the best of the year. I was a little late in hearing but I have certainly jumped on the bandwagon. This sound is kind of up my alley -a slight groove, albeit a little uncomfortable at times, with some out there psychedelia. The harmonies are beautiful and the electronics are very cool. This song "My Girls" is the single they have released for it. I love this video. So very simple. SO very cheap. I am pretty sure that if this album would have been around when I was in college I would have ingested a great deal of acid to this music.

Great wall schmet wall

These fucking ants think they got something on us? (said out of the side of my mouth) It is pretty damn impressive though. When they got that penthouse to chillax in why won't they stay out of my bread box?

One less day a week to go Postal.

Well we know things are getting tough and that the day will only get darker before it gets brighter and in an effort to save money the USPS is considering only delivering mail five days a week. Five day delivery? That is crazy. I suppose it is not really a bad idea since there are other avenues to ship freight and in addition to the fact that email is so wildly popular. Five days huh? That is one less day a week for the crazy guy in the back room to go through with his "I'm fed up with the world" killing spree.

Oh what a tangled web we weave.

We all knew Mark McGwire was juiced on something as we saw him grow into a some kind of Mongoloid of a human. However most of us didn't want to believe because he was such a stand up guy plus we all got caught up in the great homerun chase with him and Sammy Sosa. Hell I worshipped him as a kid displaying his baseball cards and posters all over my room as a kid. I wanted to be a "Bash Brother" more than anything. He sealed his fate that day in front of Congress by simply not answering the steroid use question AT ALL. Now his own blood has ratted him out. I particularly love how his brother said he spilled the beans on Mark's use so that "he (Mark) can live in truth." Click on the thread title for a link to the article.

Trim the hedges!!

So there is word that a nude picture of Madonna taken when she was 20 and a struggling dancer in NYC is going to sell for $10,000 through Christie's Auction House. We have all seen her naked in some manner, hell she made a booked called SEX. I think the real reason this thing is grabbing so much cash is because of the monstrosity that is her 70's bush. Man that thing is OUT OF CONTROL!! I mean look how far back that hair is going back. WHat do you think that taint looks like? Ewww! She'd probably kill for that much hair down there now. On a positive note she does have great looking tits in the picture.

Help Headset Vince fight the good fight

Have you seen the ShamWow commercials? Well if you have then you know why I lead off with that question. I always laugh at this guy but he is waging a war against the Lizard man worshiping cult whose followers include Travolta, Cruise, and Beck->turns out he's a loser after all.

The article

the technology world is buzzing today.

Steve Jobs has done it again. Say no to typing people the Apple Wheel is here - the MOST intuitive computer ever. It is already on the Buffet's Christmas '09 wish list. Here's to being a good boy all year.

"Fucking God man!! He's alright."

The Buffet would like to help clarify the meaning of the famous "Footprints' poem for all you that can't grasp the abysmal depth to this piece of literature. To help us out we are calling on little Jimmy and Drugs Delaney from the movie "Outside Providence". If you any questions after the presentation please feel free to ask.

damn dirty organic markets

I think its funny that the woman asking for the lettuce is dressed in city, yuppie attire. Stereotype? Do city business folk not eat organic produce? Is that what this author is saying? Is the customer saying behind that smile in her best Charleston Heston voice, "Damn dirty hippie organic farmers."

This comic came from www.marriedtothesea.com. Check it out from time to time they have some pretty damn funny comics.

Need that pucker pinker?

Apparently there is new trend in the ever growing field of really shameful cosmetic procedures. Need to get that brown star back to its younger healthier shine? We'll get your asshole bleached. There is no real way to fluff that up. Should I even ask why? I mean if someone is willing to have butt sex with you then I would think they are okay if our turd cutter is a little off color. Though in the procedure's defense the article says that most requests for this procedure are coming from men. Men, I think it goes without saying that we can have pretty dusty and dirty butts. Filled with dingleberries and you know the only way to get rid of those right? You've got to use a ding bat, Oooo. [que the rimshot.]

http://www.villagevoice.com/2005-07-05/columns/britesmile-for-bungholes/

a laurel and hardy "first"

After months of procrastinating in getting this thing up and going the buffet line is now officially open.  Like any good buffet it'll stayed stocked with anything hot, fresh, and steamy and no I'm not talking about a hot carl.   

So this it. The very first dish on the buffet.  There will never be another "first" post.  Hell, to stay in the theme of things coming this month with the Inauguration of President-Elect Obama and all we'll call this or inaugurative post.  The very first...well...blog i in effect and so to commemorate the momentous occasion coming on Jan. 20 and to commemorate the commencement of The Robust Buffet I am dropping this nugget of politically incorrect 1970's Mel Brook's humor.  I thought about this clip from "Blazing Saddles" the day before Obama was elected.  I thought if he were elected to office that there would be no funnier movie clip to demonstrate what just happened.  I voted for Obama, just to throw that out there.  The way the white people react in this scene has got to mirror some of the white folk's reaction around this country. So I extend to each you this "laurel and hardy handshake."